How often do you think about the quality of your conversations? How often  do you find you are telling your story rather than listening to someone else’s?

A few years ago I was lucky to hear someone talk for whom conversations really counted, he had been a hostage negotiator and he used an expression that has stuck with me ever since.

Make every conversation count

 

I admit there are times I forget such wise advice and find I am rushing to tell rather than listen, but when I do remember the quality of my conversation definitely improves. I really like Susan Scott’s principles for ‘Fierce Conversations’ too:

1. Master the courage to interrogate reality
2. Come out from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real
3. Be here, prepared to be nowhere else
4. Tackle your toughest challenge today
5. Obey your instincts
6. Take responsibility for your emotional wake
7. Let silence do the heavy lifting

The conversation is not about the relationship; the conversation is the relationship.    Susan Scott.